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When we first started hanging out, we had this obscene joke. That every time we got into a cab and the name on the license was any variation of Mohammed, we had to perform bits of sex on each other, that were decided before the actual hailing of the taxi, for the duration of the ride, no matter how near or far the destination.

There are so many cabbies named Mohammed…  or Mohamed, or Mohammad, or Mohammed, or Muhamad, or Muhamed, or Muhammad, or Muhammet or Mohamsandie.

We weren’t racist. We were just filthy pigs. And this is the most common name in the world. And since cabs are firstly for getting around in, and secondly for squeezing in everything you need to do before you get home… because you probably left take out containers in your bed, and floaters in your toilet…  you’re very welcome, New York;

The perfect game for perverts, like us.

*because my entire wardrobe is worth less than any one object in the Container Store catalog.

Scott Wade is Filth Whisperer. This is a an artist that has his shit all sorted. He lives a mile and a half off of a dirt road which is his palette, and his wife’s car, a blue Yaris is his ingenious canvas. He’s like an ant trapped in an Etch-a-Sketch… If Texas is an Etch-a-Sketch.

Scott is a graphic designer. As you can see from these photos, he obviously is more than just a talented draftsman. Although he indeed does live off of a dirt road, he admittedly uses oil and a hair dryer to spread dirt across the windows. This takes him about 10 minutes, instead of having to drive to Burning Man and back.

My favorite piece, obviously, is the Geisha with the rotating windshield wiper tongue, but also I really enjoy the portraits of the cast of Dallas.

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